Surgery.

I walked into the final nurse checkpoint after already having my identity checked 3 previous times. "What are you here for, Katie?". "Im having a full reconstruction of my ACL, and possibly my medial in addition." The lady looks at me and then starts asking the same questions all the others asked before as well. "what have you had to eat or drink since midnight?" "nothing." I say, as she starts to roll her eyes. "well, actually, i had some water around 8:30am this morning but they said it was fine for me to have something to drink up until at least 9." She moves on. Next thing i know, Im naked in a gown with a house coat on and a resident small talking me about being from Switzerland and owning a battle axe. It is slowly starting to kick into gear that i am in the hands of absolute dedicated sport doctors, as im hearing him talk to my mother about doing a residency with different specialists of the knee, shoulder, etc. The nurse starts an IV, and before long, im standing in my gown, housecoat, a big sock over my left leg, 2 booties, and a mark on my right knee that reads "SH." for what im assuming could mean, "start here."

I get into the operating room and see my surgeon, who introduces a large team that i quickly look at and think, 'wow, for me?'. The two female nurses are coming up to me, making an attempt at untying my robe, but not succeeding so i help her as she struggles and realize this doctor whom ive been small talking with and knows all about my skateboarding is in the room as im getting undressed and lying down. Awkward, but hey, thanks for helping. Whatever. I thank them all in advance and my Doc puts his head directly over mine, and says 'Katie, we're gonna fix your right knee, its all going to be fine." and then Dr. Mom, the anesthesiologist ask me if its about time to start running the happy drugs. I nod, and then start doing a count of my own.
1.feet. I am safe and i am grounded
2.regions. I am passionate about this and i feel my pain and insecurity
3. I am confident, i am fine
4. I love, and others love me. I deserve this.
5. I do what i want and speak my own truth. I made this happen.
6. I listened to my intuition and i am here fixing you
7. Thank you dr. Horlick
...i am out.

Whatever i was dreaming about was good up until the point i woke up to the bright lights of the OR and saw all the doctors and nursing staff in the room, i started crying. I thought i was waking up somewhere else and i was absolutely shocked that i was where i was. It scared me. I did not expect to be woken up there. I was asked if i was alright and i said yes and wove at the staff around me, asked if it all went well. The doctor told me he only had to do the ACL so i was to leave the hospital weight bearing. He said a slur of things to me that i remember, but forget at the same time. Quite frankly, im suprised that time was chosen to tell me, even though i remember the most important points. I was wheeled into the recovery room and after throwing up 2 or 3 times and finally calming down after some gravol medication i was sent out the door with my mom for the hour and a half ride home from the hospital.

Today, i feel fine. Ive definately been in more pain from conciously falling off my skateboard and hitting the pavement. At least this time, after looking in the mirror and seeing the marks that my taped shut eyes left, I know that this pain was brought on because it had to be, and that its for my better good, not worse.

Im gonna heal this right. The challenge is just staying still